An Open Letter to the Ignorant Wench that was my Stewardess on the Delta Shuttle

Dear Ignorant Wench (aka Andrea),

I was having a terrible day as it was.  I barely made the flight, I was soaking wet from trying to catch a cab in the pouring rain and my mood was soured by the fact that over the course of a 48 hour weekend, I had commitments in 4 different cities, requiring 4 separate flights (and I hate flying). 

You, of course, are not responsible for my hectic schedule and poor planning, or even the torrential downpour (as much as I would like to blame you), however you ARE responsible for publicly humiliating me on a plane full of passengers, inviting others to also publicly degrade me and spreading your ignorance and intolerance in the name of OUR God. 

When you walked toward me smiling and stopped in front of my seat (I had just collapsed in a heap), I thought you were going to offer me a word of encouragement, you had a very kind face and a nice smile and so I smiled up at you waiting for kind words.  That was, until you opened your snatch mouth and forced me to accompany you to the front of the plane while announcing loudly that I would have to remove my t-shirt because it was “offensive”. 

I am sure that my dopey smile, born from my expectation of kind words from you, must have remained on my face a moment to long for I was in shock.  I will never forgive myself for stammering my response “Offensive, to whom?”  I WISH I had offered a strong voice as loud and forceful as yours, but my stammer, although not excusable, can be attributed to complete surprise.  Your smug response that “It was offensive to Christians and if I didn’t remove the T-Shirt I would be forced to deplane” caused me to stare at you in horror. 

I have gone to church my entire life, I went to Catholic School and I attend Mass weekly.  My Faith in God is very strong.  I subscribe whole heartedly to Jesus’ teachings and although my T-Shirt was off color, (it was a T-Shirt of a friend’s band that read “Space Pussy is for Fuckers” designed by my friend Joe B - ups to Joey!) it certainly does not give you the right to impose your fundamental, ignorant, hateful false Christianity on me. 

Andrea, you struck a raw nerve with me.  Over the course of the past 5 years I have witnessed the high jacking of the lessons of Jesus by hateful, smug and unchristian followers such as you.  The fact that Christians today believe they have the power to define who is and is not a Christian based upon sexual orientation, political affiliation and in your case, clothing enrages me.  I AM A CHRISTIAN.  YOU CANNOT EXCLUDE ME BECAUSE OF WHAT I WEAR, OR WHO I FUCK OR HOW I VOTE.  I have cried tears of rage in the past two years because people like you fuck with my head and make me second guess myself and my faith.  FUCK YOU, ANDREA, my Faith is stronger than you and your ignorance.

You, Andrea, are a textbook example of all that is wrong with Christianity today.  You have bought into the political coupling of religion and the conservative rhetoric of the Red Party and hate mongering religious leaders such as Falwell and Dobson.  You believe that by forcing me to remove my shirt, you were doing so in the name of Jesus.  You believe that by humiliating me you were spreading God’s word. 

You, and others like you, would rather condemn in the name of Jesus than uphold God’s word by working to eliminate poverty and suffering and truly promote Jesus’ teachings by “helping the least among you.” Instead you work tirelessly to alienate, exclude and demean others.  In your hands, the cross of Jesus becomes a weapon and you wield it to promote selfish human agendas.

I will work to ensure that you are reprimanded, if not fired, from Delta Airlines.  Your behavior is insulting, inappropriate and un-American.  I told you as much as I deplaned and I will work to ensure that it happens.

Signed,

Juan Penalosa

Note to reader:  I am drafting a much more appropriate letter to send to Delta Airlines, I will post that letter upon completion (probably tomorrow eve).  The open letter you have just read airs my indignation directed toward people like ‘Andrea the Stewardess’ and the problems I have with their skewed version of Christianity.  The letter to Delta will focus upon rights and freedoms guaranteed me by the constitution, coupled with the inappropriate behavior of the stewardess’ words and actions.

JGP

Comments

[Richard]

ANYTHING that I can do to help you with this, please let me know. Certainly, after you draft a calmer but sharp letter to Delta, I'm sure you can count on all of us to spread it around the blogosphere. You should also send it to the travel section of the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Boston Globe and any other major city daily that matters to Delta.

[Jim]

Rock on, BUT......are you at all SURPRISED that a t-shirt with the words "pussy" and "fuckers" will get some unwanted comments and attention?? I am not. I am surprised that in our "modern world" that airlines ( was she acting officially?) have clothing rules based on hwo we "feel" about how others are dressed!! Ten years ago I sat next to a 300+ pound guy who was wearing blue denim overalls with NO SHIRT under them! HOT! ICK!

[Edward Stash]

You shouldn't have worn the shirt.

Simple as that...and I'm not the least bit religious. Her "offensive to Christians" comment was out of line, but so was your shirt. You're in public...around kids. Yea, I know, "They hear worse on the bus", but you were asking for trouble. You should have had better judgement...freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom to wear stupid t-shirts in public. Know you're going to be someplace amongst only adults? Wear the shirt...but at an airport? I'd have told you it was inappropriate also.

[Rocco]

Juan you did the right thing and I love you bitch. You should have done a back flip into a split while deplaning and been all like " You just got served".

Ps. Ed is a loser from philly who's opinion doesnt matter sweetie.

[Corey]

Get that bitch fired. You weren't causing a disruption......it's unbelievable...

I am outraged for you.

[Corey]

Btw, take Richard's comment to heart - I can help get you e-mail addresses of the travel reporters for major publications!

[john]

comments and attention is one thing--deplaning is completely different. even if the intent of the shirt is to ellicit reaction or *GASP* offend, it's not the airline's responsibility, duty, or right to act as juan's mother. check out the first amendment people. it's the reason why this country exists.

[Gayest Neil]

FUCK THAT B!TCH.
You should be allowed to express yourself any fucking-pussy way you see fit. GGAAHH! This is a prime example of the Dark Age America has fallen into. And it's a minority of "Christians" who are dragging everyone else down by our fucking-pussy shirt-tails.
And when I say "Christians" I mean the fucking-pussy ones, not the cool t-shirt wearing ones like you J.
GAH!
p.s. have you contacted the band or the Village Voice? There's a story here begging for the eeeeeevil Liberal media to uncover.

[chris s]

Your story is a good one for many reasons. Firstoff, you are right to be offended as the stewardesses' threat to have you deplane is quite draconian and does show a quite unChristian use of Christ to exert power over others. You also are free to wear the t-shirt.

However, it is inappropriate and is more than off-colour -- it can be offensive to people who just don't like foul language! It is also the context -- you are going on business but wearing a shirt like that is not going to have many people think you are on business. Also, the shirt is an advertisement for a band. For those who think this is a matter of expression -- expression of what? Your liking of the band? Also, if someone boarded the plane with "Faggots Repent for ... (Biblical Quote)", you would be offended! Along with your right to wear what you want another person has the right to object BUT not censor!

It is unfortunate that the stewardess failed to just approach you discreetly to express her reservations and SUGGESTED covering your shirt w/ a jacket or being Christian offered you an extra t-shirt (you were soaking wet)or blanket. But alas it didn't happen.

I am sorry it hit such a nerve and I hope the stewardess is reprimanded.

[Gary]

Like the old house music song tells us "Get Her".

Fuck that smug approach from some airline mullah. After all-you were not going to throw yourself down the runway like a model, or hand out pamphlets to your neighbours on the plane proclaiming your beliefs and shoving your space pussy down their throats. I can't stand prostelyzing on the trains and at the train stations, but we accept their droning on because we believe in freedom of speech.

We, in the interets to cow-tow to a few 'politically correct' (which means 'appeasing to the theocratic bullies') find ourselves removed from the liberty of self expression but are expected to comply with their demands. Does this not contradict the edicts of tolerance?

Kack.

[Alex]

The woman should be fired for idiocy. It's offensive to Christians? I guess Jews, Muslims, Taoist and Animists find it perfectly okay? She's the Pope Benedict of bad words.

I can only imagine the plane crashing and her shouting "Christians out first!" Or more realisticly telling a Moslem woman in a headwrap that her clothing is also "offensive to Christians."

Get the bitch fired. Would I have worn the t-shirt? Knowing my mother would be horrified, probably not. But this woman needs to be taught that the American Taliban hasn't taken over yet.

[Amanda]

As the mother of a child, I would kindly ask you to cover up so my daughter could not read your shirt if she were on the plane, not complain to a stewardess (I know that is not the proper term but she deserves the C U Next Tuesday term and I refrained from that!)

As an open-minded human being, I would like one of those shirts to wear out - where kids are not of course - but that is a great shirt!

I think you should try and get her fired. She is such a liar. Your shirt had NOTHING to do with religion - any religion.

And to the poster who said the Freedom of Speech doesn't mean freedom to wear stupid t-shirts in public, uuummm then what does it mean Einstein?

[Dagon]

On the one hand, I'd love to hear that she gets fired. On the other, I'd get nauseous contemplating how much she'd savor her "martyrdom"...
To stand up publically for her God and to be persecuted for it...she'll cream herself.

[myke]

wow. i really do hope you get that stewardess fired or at minimum severely whipped. and btw ... freedom of speech does mean you can wear whatever the hell tshirt you want in public. that's exactly what it means.

[Scott Jones]

I liked what Chris S had to write.

I can't believe that made you deplane! That's idiotic.

[Pete]

Get the letter written while this is still fresh in your head, you can calm it down later. Who was she kidding, first how many people saw it in the airport and did not say anything to you. Certainly the person who did your tickets, Security, the person who you gave your ticket to before you boarded the plane....and none of them suggested to you the shirt was offensive....

Once you sit down who is going to see it, she will when she comes down the aisle. No other passengers can see it when they are seated, Bitch deserves what she has comming.

[MaY]

She should have left the "Christian" part out of it entirely. I am Christian and am absolutely sickened by Chrisitans who feel that they somehow have the right to force their judgement on others. Like one sin is worse than another. I really don't think God has some kind of scale that He rates sin on, it's either sin or not. And I really don't think a t-shirt falls into that category at all. Basically this was a dress code issue and that should have been addressed as an airline regulation and that's about it. And that can be turned into a freedom of speech issue so she's still out of line. Fuck her and her ridiculous propaganda. Grr..it gets me so mad when things like this happen and the term "Christian" gets attached to it because of idiots like her. We're really not all like that.

[MaY]

oh..I'm flying to San Francisco in a couple weeks, any idea where I can find a truely offensive shirt just incase I run into Andrea?

[Tom]

I am so steamed that you had to go through that, Juan. What airports were you flying between. I have some friends who work for Delta. Maybe I can find out who Andrea is and cause her some grief, independent of your letter. Rent Season Two of Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" and watch the episode on profanity. It'll make you chuckle and you'll feel better.

[Alan]

So sorry that happened to you. Fuck that bitch!

[robocub]

OMG, the outpoutring of responses is amazing. First of all...YOU WORK BITCH! You told her (or will tell her).

Secondly, how dare she express her private religious beliefs publicy and on behalf of the company she works for. That's just outragous and wrong. Just as Christians (the bad ones) think homosexuals shouldn't publicy express themselves. I also think all religions should not be publicly displayed. It is a private and personal thing. Religion is a concept and choice, homosexuality is an inherent emotional/physhological/physiological attribute.

Anyway FUCK her. Please let me know who you send the letter to. I'd love to send one too, especially since I just flew Delta. I want to tell them that I'll never fly them again becuase of her behavior.

Feel better Juan. I'm sorry you had that awful experience.

[richard the yankee]

the shirt needs to go , i would have found it offensive too. no reason to express yourself with vulgarities in public. look at me, look at me, i know bad words!

but then yet i am a conservative, christian, repbublican.

[Patrick]

I'm a Christian and I'm not offended. I would have just sat down...tell her to shut the fuck up, and get me a drink.

[Mark]

You both were wrong. She was wrong with her "christian" comment and you were wrong for wearing a t-shirt with profanity. I also am a flight attendant (and gay) and a part of my job is to ensure that everyone is comfortable and as happy as I can make them. Many are offended and feel uncomfortable by profanity and others try to protect their children from it. If I saw a passenger with a t-shirt that had the word "FUCK" on it, it would be my job to either talk the passenger into a change of clothes or invite them to buy a souvenir t-shirt in the airport to change in to.

Yes, it is your "right" to wear whatever you want just as it is another person right not to have to hear or read profanity. Your right to throw punches ends at the other person's nose.

You are in a private companies place of business and they can have whatever dresscode they feel is appropriate.

Sorry, but you are in the wrong on this one.....

[Scott]

I don't entirely agree with Mark here. Freedom of expression, guaranteed by the US Constitution, is still more "sacred" in the US than a flight attendant's (or anyone else's) religion. For right or wrong, we have the right to offend others with our speech. (Can you say "Fred Phelps?")
Airlines are involved in interstate commerce. Because of this, they fall under the Commerce Clause, which says they can't do anything to hinder anyone's Constitutional rights while traveling amongst the states. The Supreme Court takes the Commerce Clause of the Constitution very seriously.
I don't believe that airlines have the right to "have [and enforce] whatever dresscode they feel appropriate."
Don't write a letter; talk with a lawyer or the ACLU.